How to spot a real muse
MUSE/RUSE/CONFUSED
“You’ve got a really interesting face—like not traditionally pretty—but those severe angles and doomed eyes would look amazing in a portrait. Your energy is so complex, I need to capture it on canvas. So much depth, I can see there’s a lot going on in there. I bet not a lot of people tell you that, but I see it. I see you. Will you come to my studio tomorrow night say 11ish?
I know I’m one of those stay-up-all-night artists—total cliche right? I’d love for you to sit for me or lie down whatever you feel compelled to do in the moment, my process is vibing off your energy and just going with it. It will be such a fun experience for you, I promise. Then when my show opens I’ll give you a 10% discount on your painting if you decide you have to have it. I can see this goodwill offer is so outside of your comfort zone like your whole vibe just changed.
What do you do anyway? I didn’t even ask, sometimes I can be a little self-absorbed, my bad. Oh, you’re a painter too? Crazy??!! What are the odds that another artist would hang out in the art store? Just starting out? Are you curious about how we real artists do it—are you here for my demo class on how to make archival giclée prints? So 11, tomorrow night still works for you?”
When writing a T-Shirt description turns into an accidental blog post/traumatic art disorder and the OG reason for registering this domain a few years back? I don’t know, but you can buy a t-shirt about it if you want. I feel like I really tapped into this clueless douche character—totally not a real person I know (probably) but I felt dirty reading what I wrote and made a whole thing about it. For you. For me. For all of us.
Hey, look it’s a shirt!
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